Constructing a relationship
Column ByEnigma
Post 23/06/2008

Check this outI’ve always aligned a relationship as being similar to a house. It’s a structure for people. It protects them, it provides them a home to return to – a place of warmth, comfort and security; a place where only those with its keys will be given right of access to.A relationship needs work, but not too much work. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

Though these are often-heard clichés, I feel that they ring true, and very much so in fact. A relationship will fall in place if both are destined to be together. When the opportunity is grabbed, it will be the most natural thing on earth. Every relationship, like a house, needs a foundation. How then, do you construct the sturdiest and safest house? It is essential that this foundation is constructed carefully so that it can withstand any knocks to it. The basics of a relationship include: trust, honesty, love, faith and desire. What blends them and holds them strongly together has to be the communication between both parties.

A foundation can never be too hastily built. It needs piling works, and we all know that this takes time and effort. Similarly, we can never expect a relationship’s foundation to be strong in a matter of a few weeks. It takes months (sometimes years) to cement layer upon layer so that eventually it is sturdy enough to withstand elements such as rumors, temptations, misunderstandings, miscommunications and intolerance. Faith and perseverance are needed to keep this going through time.It certainly is a test of love and of time for a relationship to continue building its foundation while such negative elements fall onto its path.

Once the foundation is built, it is equally important to construct the relationship with the right skills. It is important to establish certain deal-breakers and expectations from each other – communication expectations, mutual respect and tolerance.Name-calling – Some people have the propensity for name-calling when they’re worked up. I feel this is utterly unacceptable. How can you, who claims to love your partner, have the heart to call her by some vulgar names regardless how angry or sad you are?Spite – Many people become so emotional and juvenile that they resort to spite to communicate their feelings to their partners not knowing that they are putting themselves in the midst of a vicious cycle. It doesn’t benefit anyone at all, except to bring more hurt and trauma.

Mutual respect – It is important to respect each other’s time, friends, personal space, and opinions. We are not always right. Your partner is there, someone for you to bounce your ideas and thoughts against. Keep your mind and heart open for new perspectives, for that will allow you to grow as an individual. And only when you grow as an individual will you bring new perspectives and fresh-ness to a relationship and allow it to continue growing too.Every relationship is unique, made up of unique individuals.

Communication is key to a blissful and happy relationship. Sharing, assuring, talking, acknowledging mistakes, being humble and modest are essential traits for every relationship to prosper. Just remember: your house is what you and your occupants plan, design and construct it to be.